Wow. It’s been a tumultuous month full of changes, endings, new beginnings, and travel.
Even though I have had more free time in the last month than I usually do, I put off working on my book until today.
Have you ever given yourself a deadline, and then put it off, day after day?
I challenged myself to write 1,000 words, but I just kept moving the task from one day’s to-do list to the next.
The more I put it off, the more I dreaded it, but I couldn’t understand why. All I needed to do was go upstairs to my office, and write 1,000 words. I didn’t have to turn it in or show it to anyone, and I knew I could revise it after I was finished, but just the thought of facing the page felt painful.
I finally sat down today, and wrote. I wrote 1,000 words, this time about my own experience with my parents’ story, and my own feelings about being Polish-American. There’s a lot there: I still don’t feel quite Polish enough, and when I was younger, I felt like the oddball kid who didn’t quite know the ways of American suburban life.
When I actually started writing, it felt so good to let my fingers fly across the keyboard, and just let go. It felt so good to just write. I wrote paragraphs and rhetorical questions to get myself warmed up, and then cleared them away with one click of the delete button. I love the delicate balance between writing first sentences, and then swiftly clearing them away. It feels like a cathartic sweet release.
I feel back on track now. I am going to continue to write about my own experience with my parents’ story, and my feelings on being first-generation Polish-American for the next few weeks.
Thanks for following along,
Current Word Count: 22,317 words
Goal for Friday, October 30, 2015: write 1,000 words
© Copyright 2018 Barbara Varanka | All Rights Reserved
Website by Loop Digital