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Week 23: The Sweet Relief of Actually Writing

Wow. It’s been a tumultuous month full of changes, endings, new beginnings, and travel.

Even though I have had more free time in the last month than I usually do, I put off working on my book until today.

Have you ever given yourself a deadline, and then put it off, day after day?

I challenged myself to write 1,000 words, but I just kept moving the task from one day’s to-do list to the next.

The more I put it off, the more I dreaded it, but I couldn’t understand why. All I needed to do was go upstairs to my office, and write 1,000 words. I didn’t have to turn it in or show it to anyone, and I knew I could revise it after I was finished, but just the thought of facing the page felt painful.

I finally sat down today, and wrote. I wrote 1,000 words, this time about my own experience with my parents’ story, and my own feelings about being Polish-American. There’s a lot there: I still don’t feel quite Polish enough, and when I was younger, I felt like the oddball kid who didn’t quite know the ways of American suburban life.

When I actually started writing, it felt so good to let my fingers fly across the keyboard, and just let go. It felt so good to just write. I wrote paragraphs and rhetorical questions to get myself warmed up, and then cleared them away with one click of the delete button. I love the delicate balance between writing first sentences, and then swiftly clearing them away. It feels like a cathartic sweet release.

I feel back on track now. I am going to continue to write about my own experience with my parents’ story, and my feelings on being first-generation Polish-American for the next few weeks.

Thanks for following along,


Current Word Count: 22,317 words

Goal for Friday, October 30, 2015: write 1,000 words


Email me at barbaravaranka@gmail.com

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